The Grand FGP-THE OSCARS!

Here is is: the Grandest of all Fat Girls' Paradise. THE OSCARS 2011. I have to say, Oscar night did not impress me much. I'd have to say, of all the award season shows, the Golden Globes get the "Oscar" for best dressed. I saw a ton of Bob Mackie barbies, and (thank you, M.W.) David's Bridal.





So, without further adieu, I give you....


FAT GIRLS' PARADISE...OSCAR EDITION.









First we must deal with Anne Hathaway because sister had about 90 different gowns, all styled by Rachel Zoe. I usually like what Rachel picks, and as for her entrance to the red carpet...LOVED IT. She even had Valentino walking with her, fluffing his creating down the red carpet.





Lord to have that one day. She stunned and wowed in this Red, which was a huge color.




Dress #2...didn't like it. She looked like (again, thank you, M.W.) David's Bridal. (not that there's anything wrong with it...but WE can all go there. So, we expect dresses that we can't get....

HATED this. Vivian Westwood....sorry darling. I usually dream of burying myself within your ruffles and grandness...but this looked like Bob Mackie Barbie gone awry.

Didn't like this one either, which is saying a lot since I love a metallic tone and ADORE a one shoulder. This looked more like Rachel Zoe would wear it, not Anne.

I borrowed a dress for Class Rep in High School that looked identical to this. Liked how it looked like liquid, but wasn't impressed.

Tom Ford dress....love him. But she looked like she needed black booties and she could be Mary Poppins Goes to the Oscars.

FINALLY. A grand finale. I ADORE this one. Would have NEVER PICKED THE COLOR, but the whole thing works on Miss Anne.

Now, on to the others....

Everything about this says (pardon my french) "Get outa' my way, B$%ches."...which makes it positively Sharon.

Ok, I saw a picture of this on GMA and it looked great...but my initial reaction was "ick." Hated the color, hated her hair. To quote HH, "did she ride in on a motorcycle?"

Red was HOT...and so was Sandy. It's a risky neckline, and could always look a bit robot-ish, but she looked stunning, really she did. TAKE THAT, JESSE.

Sure, Reese looks pretty. But so does Oscar Barbie, and that is what this dress, hair and overall look said. Still, it's pretty, glam, and old Hollywood. I don't know...I'm torn. Finally decision: Pretty is for Prom. Oscar is for Stunning. This looks like a Bridesmaid's dress.

I have no clue what the fashion police said about Penelope, but sister didn't have a thing to do except be eye candy for her Oscar nominated hubby...and that's exactly what she did. Love the laid back straight hair with this dress. Love it.

Hated this. David's Bridal struck again. I do give a wee bit of credit to throwing on a pair of orange shoes.

And the Oscar for BEST DRESSED DURING AWARDS SEASON GOES TO....MILA. She rocked every awards show. Every look was different. Every one rocked. Some will turn their noses up at the little pastie things at the top, and that's fine. Call her lil' kim if you must. But I think she looks great. And since the dress is lavender and we all know how I feel about purple, well, it's saying a lot.

Michelle, you look great. Love the twiggy hair cut and simple dress. Go girl.

Miss thing, it was NOT your show. You got up there, after winning a very prestigious award and dropped the F bomb. For pete sakes. Show some class (and less boob)

FINALLY-A wife who knows how to show up her star hubby. Wow. She knocked it out of the park with this whole look.

Marky Mark's wife: I love this, too. Other stars couldn't have worn it, but she could. I like it.

Marissa. I adore you. I do...but I can't get down with this dress. The top looks like a 1940's slip and it's just plain wrong all over.

This was a great dress and one that I'd wear to an event here. But the hair.....mmmm. "Chester High School Christmas parade-beauty queen sitting on a convertible with a cardboard sign saying what she won" is what that hair says to me....and I know because I was one of said queens with high hair.

I like this dress, and I like it on her, it just doesn't feel like Julia. I don't know her personally, but it seems more like Penelope than Julia.

All the fashion peeps loved this. I didn't. Make it a racer back and you have yourself a lifeguard.
Baywatch, ok? Baywatch.

Go Jennifer, with your weight watchers self. Go.
She felt great in this and confidence is always the best accessory...the dress, I didn't like it. Flat out looked cheap to me.

Hilary nailed it. Very elegant. I'd like to wear this.

Helena. The witch thing isn't shocking anymore and isn't even fun. What would be shocking is for you to wear something wonderful. Please. See below for your sister, Helen...

And this is how it's done. She looks radiant.

My BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT:

Halle Berry. And let me explain why this is so huge. You see, when you are as gorgeous as Halle, you have to work harder to impress us. Sometimes it's unfortunate because she could wear something and it would just be "alright" .

Hailee. This little starlet is a wee 14 years old, but all during this season she has impressed with her age appropriate glamour-cuteness. She NAILED THIS, from the diamond headband to the cute peep toe pumps and ankle length (very Sarah Jessica I might add) dress. Love it. Please stay young and fresh and don't go all Lohan on us...

Gwenyth also nailed it. This looked so comfy, chic, and cool. Love the color of this Calvin Klein dress. It makes her glow. I was not a fan of her pink ballerina-esque dress that she wore when she won the Oscar...I'm a HUGE fan of this one, though.

Erin Andrews. You know I think you are cute as Christmas and I envy your ESPN sideline job, not to mention the cute wardrobe they give you. This was fairly awesome as well. Not sure why she was there, but she was there in style.

Cate. Sister I love ya. I have seen you wear all kinds of things, all of which NO ONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD could pull off. That year you wore your hair pulled back and had all those wirey bangles up your arms...loved that. The next year you wore this gunmetal color with awesome eye make up. Loved that, too. Then there was the yellow number with the little belt that was so very Katherine Hepburn. Loved it.

She came as her BFF's (Michelle Williams) date...and looked awesome.

Annette. People were raving. I think you look great, and age appropriate, but I’m not wowed.

Love this, Amy, but lose the necklace...it's too much! The crew neck of this dress is enough. It could have used a necklace had the dress been a deep V...but it's not. She could also be Katherine Hepburn.

I searched and searched for Julianne Moore, but alas, "they say" she skipped out on ole' Oscar night. I would have GLADLY taken that ticket, Jules. Next time, you know where to send it..wink wink.

And thus, we conclude our grand poopa of FGP-Oscar 2011. Until next award season...